Hitting My Reset Button
Rediscovering balance in the chaos of new parenthood
I’m generally a happy guy. My default state is positive and upbeat.
There are two scenarios where this isn’t true:
1. I’m hungry
2. I haven’t exercised recently
The antidotes to both are so simple: eat and workout. Without them, friends and family have seen me turn into a hangry nightmare.
Consistent weightlifting was the backbone of my exercise routine, with yoga, golf, and running all sprinkled in.
Then we had a baby. Routine went out the window. Goodbye consistency.
My workout habits cratered when faced with a newborn with no circadian rhythm.
The first few weeks were jam-packed with clinging to the new parent learning curve with our fingernails. There was no hope of consistent exercise beyond neighborhood walks.
Even as our sleep improved and we felt more confident in how to care for our baby, I didn’t get back into my exercise habits. I’d fallen off the wagon. Getting back to work after paternity leave left even less available time in the day.
During limited stretches of free time, I’d feel the responsibility to catch up on everything else: respond to that email, make that appointment, run that errand. The dishes and laundry are constantly calling. But by trying to always take on more, I neglected to move my body.
For the first time since I was 15, I started to have regular stretches of 3-5 days between workouts. I wasn’t feeling like myself. Lethargic. No patience. Molehills becoming unconquerable mountains. I was in a funk.
The occasional workout wasn’t cutting it. Sydney regularly encouraged me to do a 30-minute Peloton ride, and if I fought the lethargy enough to listen to her, I’d instantly feel better. Yet I’d make the same mistake again and go another 4-days before the next workout.
During one exercise-less day, I had my 6th cup of coffee and realized I was never going to fix my cloudy head with caffeine alone. I needed sweat.
I sat down and got organized every evening. By waking up with a plan for when and how I’d workout that day, I became more consistent at following through. Our situation would necessitate some flexibility, but if I didn’t have any plan then the day would accidentally pass me by.
It was all an exercise (pun intended) in adjusting. Pushing some projects and chores to another day for the sake of making sure I got that workout in. And I began to figure out how to sneak in exercise with the baby in tow. We’ve loved lifting weights together in the garage and going for a quick jog. A short uphill hike with an 18-pound baby gets a good sweat going quickly too.
Like most people, exercise hits my reset button faster than anything else. It brings an instant energy boost and improved mood that carries through the rest of the day. As I strung together consecutive days of exercise, my upbeat demeanor returned.
It’s simple. It’s dumb. It’s perfect. Exercise regularly and don’t let me get too hungry. That’s all it takes.
I’ve realized that in order to show up as the best husband, father, and friend I can be, I need to regularly exercise to recharge my own batteries. I had been sacrificing workouts for the sake of being able to help with childcare and the constant to-do list around the house. A noble goal, but a system that wouldn’t be sustainable. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I’m focused on re-building my exercise habits and adapting as necessary for our new lifestyle as parents. There’s only 1 fitness goal I have right now: sweat every day. It doesn’t matter how long or what type of exercise.
Predictably, I feel much better after stringing together several days with a sweat. My energy is better, my head clearer, my focus stronger. I feel like I can take on the world.
If I’m ever rude to you, I apologize. Odds are I just need a bite to eat and a quick sweat.
